COVID19 Reflections

Covid 19 Lockdown and Fear of Dying
Abhinivesa – a strong desire to life and will to live

‘The tyranny of fear is tearing apart the very fabric of what it means to be human.’ Dr Zach Bush MD.

What momentous times we are living in. Suddenly the whole world is in lock down. A time of withdrawal from the rhythms of life that are familiar to me. A time of idle hours, slowing down and yet, reflection needed to gauge my heightened emotional response to; what I knew as “freedom” was just taken away. For me, it was a surprise slap on the face. Wake up! What is going on? Alarmingly we were forced to drop everything and follow the rules to safeguard our life and the lives of others. It is a time to ask questions and seek answers, to open my mind to the world and scientific consensus on the Pandemic that had imposed the world into hiding.

At first it was like a breath of fresh air. The sweet surrender of doing nothing but just be. Secure that we were being looked after by our government.  The movements of the fast-paced world were forced to take a break. There were so many positives. Nature was taking a rest from pollution. Around the world, we saw that animals took the liberty to roam unimpeded by human boundaries, families had the time to appreciate each other. Acceptance of ‘what is’ was all I could achieve, there was nothing to do. For me, I felt a burden lift however my focus shifted to realising that it is not about me, it is about everyone and the feeling of helplessness and fear began to takeover.

Abhinivesa, is one of the five Kleshas (poisons) obstructing truth and perceptions. They are the core foundation of Yoga Philosophy and the greatest obstacle Abhinivesa, is attachment to life or Fear of dying. Under the grip of Fear, we are all easily manipulated and controlled.

Fear is one of the most important issues we all face and have experienced on many levels. The survival instinct of fight or flight response gears us into action, but with lockdown, there is nowhere to run or hide. The fear response can only be turned inward and reveals our psychological conditioning through exaggerated emotions. Who was declaring we were all about to die?

I retreated into my practice of Yoga, Meditation and Pranayama. Deep subconscious personal issues surfaced to consciousness; A sweeping of the soul spirit became the cleansing process that urged me to move with the times. Afterall, I am part of this current and radically changing world. I felt an intense need to understand, to have my own inner clarity and yet, an outer voice. It was important for me to read everything that came my way and felt the need to contribute to the situation we were all going through. Fear was the driving force. I could also sense the fear in my friend’s reactions on social media. Fear of what? Fear that we could die. How could I not delve into its influence over me?

The beauty of meditation in quiet seclusion helps me detach from emotions and recognize how they obscure my perceptions of reality. Often not the truth but it is a biased opinion that surfaces. My Practice is to remain open, integrate the emotional body, mind and heart to exploring not only my inner world but what is also happening outside in the world. Through the focus of meditation, intuition becomes heightened and helps me to drop the drama and look at the present predicament without fear. Meditation inspires an unadulterated truth to reveal itself.

We place trust in our government because they are our leaders.  But as time went on and new scientific information emerged from all different countries, it became very confusing to understand what was really driving this pandemic to be extraordinary. It brought my attention to the fact that not even our health officials were clear. It was then that I started to research for myself. What I was finding however was deliberately being removed from the internet. There was more control being imposed upon us. Can we not have the choice to decide for ourselves what we wish to read? We were being directed towards only one type of news, mainstream media. This one fact is scary. Censorship was upon us and we were not allowed to view all points of view. There is an arrogance about censorship which once again raises questions in my mind that there is more than meets the eye underlying what was happening.

Sources of information opposing government from scientists, doctors and other health organizations were instantly discredited as being ‘harmful to the public’. On social media fear-based perceptions projected heightened opinions and became a desperate outcry instead of an open discussion. Fear imposed by mainstream media was now imbedded in society. Fear imposed by so called conspiracy theories also felt threatening. When information was shared with friends how quickly some retaliated or turned a blind eye. I became acutely aware of the emotional responses being expressed and how vindictive people were if their beliefs were threatened. Their psychological reactions were starkly obvious and founded on their immediate instincts of keeping themselves secure and safe; underlying this, is fear of dying. The survival instinct is present in all of us, yet it also alienated people from each other through their opinions.

Fear cripple’s insight and clarity. Judgement and fixed opinion arise instead of the intuition of discernment. The purpose of yoga practice is to tap into our intuition - the innate intelligence - that helps us to witness and detach from the reactions of the emotional mind-body. To take a step back, a deep breath, can ultimately change one’s perspective while considering the other persons opinion to be just as valid as yours. The question remains however, who is right and who is wrong?

The dichotomy of life as it was happening reveals its negatives too. The lockdown isolations of humanity were damaging psychologically as social distancing created mistrust of others. Depressions and suicides, domestic violence, child abuse and the economic repression are enormous impacts on our society of which real time data has yet to emerge. Fear of the deadly virus and the urgency to find a vaccine which ultimately governments wish to make mandatory. Another slap on the face regarding freedom to choose what is right for us individually. Which will be the lesser of the two evils, lockdown versus herd immunity in tackling the corona virus, the data we have yet to see.

Meanwhile we need to find our own inner truth and speak it. I am grateful for my moments of reflection and being a witness to the changing times. Justice, Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Choice is the right of every human being. Otherwise we can no longer be free and independent but reduced to a herd within a pen with someone driving the whip of conformity or should I say microchip of conformity.

I believe censorship is a crime upon humanity to block us from thinking uniquely. And who are they to censor? Do they really have our best interests at heart? My trust in the official WHO has been eroded and I can only trust my intuition.  The predicament of our lockdown however is coming to light as more is being revealed from doctors, nurses, scientists from all over the world about the origins, severity and threat to life Pandemic.

Recently I came across an interview with Dr Zach Bush MD who describes scientifically the lockdown predicament within the order of the biome of nature and the course of any virus within that system that we are all intrinsically part of. He also states, ‘What level of fear have we induced in mankind to let people die alone.’  He believes the unjustified fear that the media portrayed over another respiratory disease with numbers of death no more than the usual influenza will naturally die out in two years and the tyranny is unwarranted. Immune system education while still researching vaccines need to be addressed from a holistic perspective, Why? Because since 1986 they have not been testing for the efficacy of the vaccines, yet they want to impose mandatory vaccine for a virus that will naturally mutate into something other.

We must always be allowed to speak our truth, right or wrong, this is how we need to commune and engage in the world and not be persuaded by one stream of thought only. 

What I found during this time of enforced isolation is that my fear was released because ones real justice comes from deep within, where the “truth bells” ring, a clarity, a peaceful acceptance of being part of the whole. We have a right to choose and we have the right to be free.

In Yoga Philosophy it is said the aim of yoga will bring moksha, liberation. And we have all heard the saying that ‘the truth will set you free’.  Fear suppresses freedom and colours the meaning of truth. We are here to share with each other without criticism or rebuke but with open hearts of acceptance, only then can we really begin to understand what is being presented to us with objective clarity. It is our moral obligation to seek truth and justice in any situation. Find your truth and live it to the fullest.
By Filomena Aversa